Why Cohorts Stay Shallow.

Forced conversations are performance art. Everyone’s playing their part, pulling from an previously used script, saying the safe thing.

But then there are the dives—those Forum sessions, founder circles, cohort gatherings where someone actually says the thing they've never told their spouse, business partner or investor.

The most intimate conversations follow similar patterns as a free dive:

Pre-Dive: Permission to Go Deep People aren't naturally vulnerable. They need signals that this is a space for truth, not polish. Smart facilitators send signals and expectations early, sometimes leading by example. Cohorts without psychological safety never go anywhere meaningful.

Initial Descent: Earning the Drop The first ten minutes are what set the tone. Vulnerability scales when it’s modeled, not mandated. Want real talk? Go first. Show the depth you're asking for. But don't force it, conversations can't be pushed underwater. They have to choose to dive.

The Deep End: Explore, Don’t Perform Young Presidents’ Organization (YPO), the best at Forum design, calls it “exploration” for a reason. Aim for a pursuit of clarity. Invite others to reflect, not fix. This isn't "tell me about what keeps you awake", it's "what are you pretending not to know?" That hits.

The Ascent: Don't Rush to the Surface Here's what kills amateurs: they forget the transition back to reality. Like a free diver shooting straight to the surface, don't skip the emotional decompression. Recap. Reflect. Reground. Give time to find their footing before walking back into their regular lives. Skip this step and you've created emotional whiplash.

The Play: Want intimate cohorts that matter? Design for the complete arc. That’s the difference between going deep and going nowhere.